Mistakes and Regrets

I think we don't differentiate enough between a mistake and a regret. I believe that most of us make the best decisions we can with the information at hand but still those decisions don't turn out the way we had hoped. That's a mistake and to my mind something easily forgetable and forgivable. A regret on the other hand is a decision or a choice or circumstance that leaves a profound sense of loss from which we can never fully recover - forgivable but not forgetable.

And I think that those folks who say they have no regrets are either liars or have not lived life nearly to it's fullest.

A few years ago when I headed out on my first official long ride I loaded the cruiser, set off down the road, and along the way made a detour down a dirt road to see something that interested me. The further down the road I went the worse the road became, until I finally realized that I was in way over my head, especially riding a loaded cruiser. So I started a u-turn, hit the gas too fast in that dirt, slid the rear tire and of course dumped the bike. There I was in the middle of nowhere, six hours into my first long ride, with 700 pounds of me, motorcycle and gear lying in the dirt. And at that moment my cell phone rang; it was my wife, just "checking in." How do they know???

So I twisted the truth just a bit and told her everything was fine Iwhich I really was), then dusted myself off, set a spell to get my head together, then picked up the bike and learned a lesson: cruisers and dirt do not play well together. That's an example of a mistake (dumping the bike, not lying to one's spouse which, if not appropriately confessed later, could be a BIG regret!).

On the other hand, I do have a couple of regrets in my life. Without going into all the detail, I have a brother, Archie, who is eighteen years older than me whom mom threw out of the house when I was very little. Archie had his own family, my mom and I relocated to another state and I lost touch with him. I tried to find him many years ago but everything I found indicated he was dead.

So imagine my surprise when, two years ago I received an email from his daughter, telling me that Archie was very much alive and doing well. So my brother whom I had not seen in 45 years and thought was dead, was found! We have spent much time together since and it means to world to me to find my lost brother. But I deeply regret the many years which we have lost and the moments and depth of relationship that we can never regain.

But mistake or regret, there is usually nothing we can do to change the past. All we can do is determine how we will live in the new moment.