Middle-aged Adolescent

When I was in High School I would on occasion perform an act that required forethought and consideration; on other occasions I would act as a typical adolescent male, by which I mean I would do something impulsive and stupid that lacked any rational explanation. Examples of the latter were usually followed by my mother shaking her head and saying somewhat wistfully, "Sometimes a man, most times a boy." The advantage of aging is that with enough life experience behind you (read: reflection upon stupid stuff you did), the middle aged man is better able to make decisions based on rational thought and consideration of logical consequences rather than impluse and a "Cowabunga!" mentality.

Better able does not translate into always.

A few days back I was cleaning and lubing the chain on my bike and noticed it seemed a bit loose. No problem: loosen the adjusting screws and axle nut, slide the wheel back a bit, retighten everything and you are good to go. Except the axle nut would not budge. I tired every wrench I had and even bought a bigger one using a pipe for leverage. No good. Not too many years ago my response would have been to get a hammer, yet larger wrenches, more pipe, and pushed-pulled-banged until the I sheared the nut or twisted my back. But experience has taught me that I would never get the bloody nut loose, so I simply called up a buddy who has a pneumatic impact wrench, set a time to load the bike up on his lift, and all was well. The middle aged man acting upon experience and rationality.

It was a glorious sunny day (rare this time of year in Seattle), the appointed hour came, and I rode the bike over to my buddy Pat's house. We pulled his project bike off the lift and prepared to put my bike on. Now, I know that one should not try to ride a bike onto a lift - it is simply too narrow for good balance and if you don't get the throttle just right the momentum can actually push the lift forward. This is why professional's never ride a bike on a lift - they wheel it on. But do you think those facts stopped me? Nah. The middle-aged adolescenct acting out of some ancestral gene labeled "Stupid - remove through evolutionary process". Except there seems to be a flaw in evolutionary theory, as it appears you can never evolve out of stupid.

So I fired it up, let out the clutch, rode up on the lift, couldn't quite get the back wheel over the lip, gunned it again and set down my foot - remember I said that lift's are narrow? - which of course slid off the side, causing me to lose momentum and balance. I looked at Pat as I toppled in slow motion and very calmly said, "I'm going over." You could just read it on his face: "No kidding." He later claimed that I was already shooting up the lift before he could suggest this was not a good idea; I personlly think he just wanted to see me do something stupid...

Anyway, over I went. Now, Pat has a small work space crammed with cabinets, half-disassembled motors, and various tools and parts laying around. There is only one small space in which one could fall and not smash oneself against various sharp objects. I landed in that very spot. It is said that God watches after young children and fools. I am proof positive of that proverb. We picked up the bike, levered it up on the lift, strapped it down and got to work. And as we were working, I swear I heard a heavenly voice: "Sometimes a man, most times a boy."

Yep.

Don't Do Anything Stupid ...

The three most valuable pieces of advice I have received during many years of motorcycle training are "Assume everyone is trying to kill you," "It's not personal," and "Don't do anything stupid."

Actually they all go together.

With millions of vehicles of all shapes and sizes on the road, driven by millions of folks with varying degrees of experience, ability, and attention, it is a wonder there are not far more accidents. At any given moment there are more distractions effecting one's driving skills than can be counted: road and weather conditions, emotional turmoil , bio-rhythms, amount of sleep, a need to urinate ... all impact one's ability to navigate a three ton missle on wheels.

And that ain't good.

So Admonition #1 is simply the realization that motorcycles are small, cars and trucks are big, and folks are probably not paying as much attention to their driving as they ought to be. Lack of attention equals bonehead moves, which put your life in danger; ergo,Assume everyone is trying to kill you.

Which brings us to Admonition #2: It's Not Personal. Just because folks are not paying attention does not mean they hate you personally. In fact the problem is that they do not even recognize that you exist! Human beings - each and every one of us - are pretty self-absorbed, and I mean that as an observation rather than a judgement. We get caught up in the multitude of things listed above and we just don't pay attention to others. But if while tootling along on a beautiful day some knucklehead drifts into your lane while chatting on a cellphone, makes a left turn in front of you because the friggin' GPS told him to, or travels at 29 MPH in a 40 MPS zone trying to figure out which street is the one he wants, it feels quite personal. Especially if said actions result in you having to lock up the breaks, swerve off the pavement, or arrive late at an important meeting.

Here is where we key Admonition #3: Don't do anything stupid. Which is hard when your adrenaline is pumping, your whole body is shaking, and your emotional mind is bent on payback. Flipping someone off seems like the minimal appropriate response and thoughts of putting a series of steel-toed boot prints along the offending car's doors seems quite rational. But discipline is the key here, as one must let the rational mind over-ride the emotional mind. Nothing, I repeat, absolutely nothing, will be gained by either of the above responses or anything in-between. Feeling pissed off is an appropriate response to almost getting whacked by some thoughtless, self-absorbed chump. Getting into a fight, causing damage that could result in your arrest, or risking another accident because of a pride-filled, adrenaline-fueled act is stupid.

Bruce Lee often spoke of emotional content when speaking of the martial arts, and by that he meant you use the energy generated by a negative experience to acheive a positive result. There is no positive result in continuing the cycle of stupidity or violence.

The same is true in all of life; often we find ourselves in situations where we need to remember that actions that effect us are often not meant to be personal, even if they are harmful. We cannot control the actions of others, only take responsbility for ourselves by both watching out for the harmful behaviors of others and remembering not to do anything stupid ourselves. So we choose to yield to reality, shake off the anger, and live to ride another day.

It's not easy, but nobody said riding, or life, was easy!